A
lesson in the importance of secrecy
We
have all heard the question countless times: “What makes us different from an
organization? What distinguishes us as a fraternity? What’s so special about
us?” And the generic answer is usually something along the lines of, “We have a
special bond in the secrets that only we know. There is a special meaning
behind us that only we know and other organizations do not have this.”
We
all understand the importance of keeping the most precious secrets of our
fraternity to ourselves and only ourselves. They stay very close to our hearts
and influence our everyday lives. Only Brothers know all that the other
Brothers know. But what happens beyond those deepest secrets of the fraternity?
What happens when it comes to issues that are less concrete?
Another
quality we like to point out when we talk about the fraternity is trust. It
seems like we throw the word around like it is something we are just supposed
to say at times. “I trust you” is a loaded set of words. It means that you
could tell that person anything and know that they would not judge you for it,
that they would know not to tell anyone else and use their discretion when it
comes to things you share with them. It means that you know you will be there
for each other no matter what, even through fights and disagreements. At the
end of the day, you can rely on each other and put full faith into that person
that they will not betray you.
Sometimes
it may be hard to feel that way about everyone in the chapter, and this is
where problems rise. This is when the chapter starts to form cliques, become
spiteful, and ultimately be subject to a great deal of corruption that may make
it more difficult for the chapter to function. Brothers begin to worry more
about who said what, who told who what, and “Oh my God I can’t believe he did
that!” They begin to feel like they have to be very careful about who they tell
things to, and this is ultimately what leads to the difficulties in honest
discussion that we often face in the fraternity. Most of the problems we are
constantly trying to conquer, including cliques, people talking behind each
other’s backs, inability to get any work done, difficulties in communication
and honest discussion, all stem from the one major point of trust.
The
unfortunately hard thing to do is figure out how to build that trust and
maintain it. Often, the Brothers of the fraternity trust until their trust is
broken. This may not be as detrimental to the fraternity if it is a small issue
between two people that they can work out on their own. However, I believe the
biggest issues arise when secret information from fraternity meetings leaks out
to those who are not in the fraternity, and no one knows how or why. This is
extremely harmful to the organization, because it affects honesty in meetings.
When no one knows who leaked the information, then they are forced to not fully
trust anyone. The bonds of Brotherhood are broken in this way. It goes further
than just the main secrets of the fraternity.
Here
are some basic rules to help preserve the trust and Brotherhood within the
fraternity:
1. Do
not speak anything outside of a meeting that has not been decided on for public
sharing. Even if you do not think it would be harmful to share outside the
meeting, it may be, and this could cause further issues in the fraternity.
2. Respect
the decisions made by a vote in the fraternity. No matter what your view was
when the vote happened, outside of the fraternity meeting, all Brothers must be
publicly in agreement of all decisions made. This helps avoid cliques and divisions
within the fraternity.
3. If
you know something leaked out to the fraternity and you know who leaked it,
tell your executive right away. If you know you leaked information and it got
out of hand, also tell your executive right away. It is at their discretion to
decide if there should be punishment, but regardless of that, they can help to
extinguish the situation.
These are a few simple rules to follow, but they
work wonders for the health of the fraternity. In the New Year, let’s make it
our resolution to learn to trust each other more and use more discretion when
discussing the secrets and decisions of our fraternity. With these tips, your
chapter will be much more effective.
Dalita Getzoyan
University of Rhode Island
Kappa Kappa Psi
Theta Upsilon
