Keep Calm And Stay Quiet

A lesson in the importance of secrecy

            We have all heard the question countless times: “What makes us different from an organization? What distinguishes us as a fraternity? What’s so special about us?” And the generic answer is usually something along the lines of, “We have a special bond in the secrets that only we know. There is a special meaning behind us that only we know and other organizations do not have this.”

            We all understand the importance of keeping the most precious secrets of our fraternity to ourselves and only ourselves. They stay very close to our hearts and influence our everyday lives. Only Brothers know all that the other Brothers know. But what happens beyond those deepest secrets of the fraternity? What happens when it comes to issues that are less concrete?

            Another quality we like to point out when we talk about the fraternity is trust. It seems like we throw the word around like it is something we are just supposed to say at times. “I trust you” is a loaded set of words. It means that you could tell that person anything and know that they would not judge you for it, that they would know not to tell anyone else and use their discretion when it comes to things you share with them. It means that you know you will be there for each other no matter what, even through fights and disagreements. At the end of the day, you can rely on each other and put full faith into that person that they will not betray you.

            Sometimes it may be hard to feel that way about everyone in the chapter, and this is where problems rise. This is when the chapter starts to form cliques, become spiteful, and ultimately be subject to a great deal of corruption that may make it more difficult for the chapter to function. Brothers begin to worry more about who said what, who told who what, and “Oh my God I can’t believe he did that!” They begin to feel like they have to be very careful about who they tell things to, and this is ultimately what leads to the difficulties in honest discussion that we often face in the fraternity. Most of the problems we are constantly trying to conquer, including cliques, people talking behind each other’s backs, inability to get any work done, difficulties in communication and honest discussion, all stem from the one major point of trust.

            The unfortunately hard thing to do is figure out how to build that trust and maintain it. Often, the Brothers of the fraternity trust until their trust is broken. This may not be as detrimental to the fraternity if it is a small issue between two people that they can work out on their own. However, I believe the biggest issues arise when secret information from fraternity meetings leaks out to those who are not in the fraternity, and no one knows how or why. This is extremely harmful to the organization, because it affects honesty in meetings. When no one knows who leaked the information, then they are forced to not fully trust anyone. The bonds of Brotherhood are broken in this way. It goes further than just the main secrets of the fraternity.

            Here are some basic rules to help preserve the trust and Brotherhood within the fraternity:

1.      Do not speak anything outside of a meeting that has not been decided on for public sharing. Even if you do not think it would be harmful to share outside the meeting, it may be, and this could cause further issues in the fraternity.

2.      Respect the decisions made by a vote in the fraternity. No matter what your view was when the vote happened, outside of the fraternity meeting, all Brothers must be publicly in agreement of all decisions made. This helps avoid cliques and divisions within the fraternity.

3.      If you know something leaked out to the fraternity and you know who leaked it, tell your executive right away. If you know you leaked information and it got out of hand, also tell your executive right away. It is at their discretion to decide if there should be punishment, but regardless of that, they can help to extinguish the situation.

These are a few simple rules to follow, but they work wonders for the health of the fraternity. In the New Year, let’s make it our resolution to learn to trust each other more and use more discretion when discussing the secrets and decisions of our fraternity. With these tips, your chapter will be much more effective. 

Dalita Getzoyan

University of Rhode Island

Kappa Kappa Psi

Theta Upsilon

Find Strength in your Sisters

Beta Eta has a line in our chapter hymn that says, “Here I find my strength.” Furthermore, while circled up, we grip each others’ hands just that much tighter when we sing “strength.” This single line sums up one of the greatest things Tau Beta Sigma (and Kappa Kappa Psi for brothers) allows us: strength, or many opportunities to discover our true strength. These opportunities include but are not limited to leadership opportunities and our sisters.

When you join TBS, you do not know what will come of it. You have a limited understanding of the fantastic organization you have just been initiated into and must greatly rely on your “Fortitude and courage to see an ideal, to seize upon it, and follow it wherever it will lead you in Tau Beta Sigma,” and I hope you will. No matter how shy or unsure you start off, active involvement will strengthen your assurance within your chapter and it can only go up from there!  Talk to your sisters and previous officers about their projects and volunteer to help to gain a better understanding. Then, dare to take the helm, step out of your comfort zone, and run for an office! The sky’s the limit! If you had asked me two and a half years ago where TBS would take me, I am not sure I would have had visions beyond my chapter.

However, TBS is equally a wonderful support system for non-sorority matters. Whatever is going on in your life, your sisters and the sorority are available as needed. In 2012, I have had my fair share of emotional struggles and used the opportunities presented in TBS to focus my energy. In the spring, my ups and downs were balanced by focus on the success of the Northeast District Convention and my office as Corresponding Secretary. My short-term and long-term projects and their success built my confidence and strength in all areas of my life, including personal and academic. It was amazing how small victories along the districts planning process (example: making the room reservations work with the Air Force Band Concert) could empower me to have academic and emotional excellence. On the other hand, if busying up does not work for you, your sisters are good for a listening ear, lend a hand to share your load, or just providing support so that you, too, may strengthen and achieve anything!

                As sisters, we often cite the iconic final line of the Affirmation “With my sisters, I am best” to express our feelings towards the Sisterhood and its members. In my experiences, this feeling can be attributed to the emotional, physical, and academic strength our sisters provide us which lift us to our utmost potential! Take advantage of the wonderful people and opportunities you have been given in which to find strength! I wish you all the best on your individual journey!

(Left to right) Sara Johnson, Patricia Da Silva, Zara Simpson, Nadine Simpson, Anna Costello singing at with the sisters at the 2012 Northeast District Convention.

Beta Eta dressed up at their 2012 Marching Band Banquet.

MLITB,

Zara Simpson
Tau Beta Sigma – Beta Eta
University of Maryland
NED Secretary

The Balancing Act

                Schoolwork, band, service, work, family, friends…are there even enough hours in a day to accomplish everything?? You just have to learn to make time. With all this talk of New Year’s resolutions why not make a resolution to manage your time better? In these last days of winter break take some time to sit down and look over all of your responsibilities along with your schedule. Setting a routine for yourself is one of the first big steps. Be realistic as you set this, can you really accomplish all of your school work in one hour and still make it to band practice? Probably not. Set yourself up for success by being honest about how much time you will need to devote to each activity. Routines are hard to get into, but once you get started, they are even harder to break. So make sure you are getting yourself into a good routine!

                When you are feeling overwhelmed it is important to look back at everything and remember why you began it all in the first place. When you are under so much pressure it is easy to lose that motivation that you began with. Take some time to reflect and remind yourself why these things are important to you. At times of great trial you can lose your focus and just want to throw in the towel. Get back to your roots and remind yourself why it is all important. School work getting rough? Think about the proud moment that lies ahead as you walk across that stage to receive your diploma. TBS/KKY work starting to overwhelm you? Think about how wonderful it feels to serve and know that you have made a difference through your actions. Everything is worth it, sometimes it just takes a few deep breaths and some deep thought to remember that. For huge daunting tasks, break them up into smaller tasks. Completing big tasks can seem overwhelming at first but if you sit down and think of all the little things that go into it, it doesn’t seem quite as bad. Start with the simple stuff first. There is no greater feeling than being able to start crossing things off your ‘to-do’ list and sometimes that’s all the motivation you need to get start. Well at least for an overly organized nerd like me, anyway.

                Most importantly, always allow for a little “you time” even on your busiest of days. Whether it is relaxing with a good book before bed or an early morning run while the rest of the world is still fast asleep, these moments to yourself are crucial for maintaining your sanity. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. Eat right, exercise, get some sleep; all that good stuff. Nothing is worth running yourself down to the breaking point. Keep yourself happy and healthy and everything else will begin to fall into place.

                Overall, be sure you are filling your time with things you are passionate about. Passion is what drives motivation. Think about how long it takes you to complete a chore you have been dreading versus how quickly you can complete a task you are especially excited about. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” Do what you love and love what you do. There will be times when you will get stressed or even want to give up. Those are the times when you need to take a deep breath and just take it one step at a time.

You can do anything you set your mind to, the first step is believing in yourself.

Alana Leeti
Tau Beta Sigma-Zeta Upsilon Life Member #3030
Northeast District VPSP 2012-2013

Compass

Good evening everybody! I’m writing this during Winter Break. It’s been a nice and relaxing one to say the least, but now it’s time for me to sit down and write something for you to read!

When I was younger, I did something that most young boys do: participate in Scouting. I never made it to Eagle (Life for life!), but even still many of my fondest childhood memories came during my time with Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. I made pinewood derby cars (won a couple of years even!), went to summer camp, and went on many trips to various parks. My favorite trips were Hershey Park (we did stay in tents!) and white water rafting on the New and Gauley Rivers in West Virginia. The times were fun, the people were great, and the lessons were ones to live by.

Prior to every meeting, the Boy Scouts recite our Oath and Law. At first, a young Boy Scout will see reciting these as a repetitive and menial task. However, with time, these two verbatims have resonated more and more in my soul. The Oath reads, “On my honor I will do my best, to do my duty to God and my country, and to obey the Scout Law; to help other people at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally straight.” The Law reads, “A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.” To this day I, and many other Scouts who I have met through Kappa Kappa Psi, could easily and quickly recite either if prompted.

In those words following “obey the Scout Law”, the Oath lays the groundwork of not only how a Scout but any person should conduct themself: help others whenever possible and be in good shape physically, mentally, and morally. One could simplify the last part even further: be the best you that you can be.

That being said, I personally always felt the Oath never had as much residence in me as the Law did. The Oath even references the Law, clearly indicating its importance to all Boy Scouts. The Oath lays the groundwork, telling Scouts to be the best version of themselves, but the Law gives specific qualities that move a person to becoming that. It never says for you to be smart, it says to be thrifty. It never says for you to be muscular, it says to be clean. The most important thing that it says for you to be is a friend; the first eight traits all speak of amiable characteristics. Although much of the Law deals ways to improve oneself from within the person, the majority of the Oath deals with ways to improve oneself with your fellow man.

One can see many similarities between the Boy Scouts’ Oath and Law, and Kappa Kappa Psi’s Purposes and Creed and Tau Beta Sigma’s Purposes and Ideals. Although some may view any of these three groupings to work as substitutes for the others, I view them as complements to the others. The lessons and guidance found within the Boy Scouts’ Oath and Law can be useful, empowering, and inspiring regardless of one’s gender. I encourage everyone to read these three organizations’ guiding statements and to think critically about the wisdom found within.

Ryan Largent
Kappa Kappa Psi
Gamma Xi
Northeast District President 2012-2013

Keeping up with Alumni!

Though becoming a sister is an emotional and never forgotten time in ones life, so is leaving. When people graduate from college they have the whole world ahead over them and most of the time don’t ever look behind them at the past. So it is our job as active sisters in the bond to make sure that those alumni are always informed and can choose to be active if they so chose in sorority happenings.

How do you stay in contact with your Alumni? The first thing you do is either create a Alumni Chair or an Alumni Secretary position within your chapter. Once this has been created the next step is to create an alumni email roster. This way the the chapter can send either weekly and or monthly updates on chapter happens. Such as degrees, service projects, and other fun events the chapter may need help with.
Second thing your chapter should do is host alumni events. Such as alumni dinners and or luncheons. This is an easy and fun way to get alumni to come back, meet the current active sisters and really get a feel of whats going on in the chapter currently.

A cool project you could work on with alumni is to make a scrapbook with them. Ask them to send you photos, papers, and or stories of the past that you can make into a scrapbook. Ideally make this scrapbook digital so that you can always add to it and make this a tradition within your chapter.
Keeping Alumni informed and active can be an easy and fun thing! All you have to do is remember, without them you would not be where you are today.

MLITB

Billy Ray Poli
NED Alumni Secretary and Historian
Life Member #3045

New, Scary, and Exciting: How to Deal with Starting an Endeavor

Entering into a new endeavor, whether it’s a new class, office, semester, or chapter in your life, can be both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. When I was appointed to the position of District VPM, I experienced that exhilaration of embarking on a new journey while being scared out of my mind.  Below are the steps that I took to make myself more confident in the new position.

Breathe and Have Faith in yourself

This is the first step and one that needs to be repeated every step of the way. Maybe you just got your syllabus for a new class and you see that you have a paper due every week AND 5 million pages of reading every week. First step is to BREATHE!

 Getting yourself worked up over all the work that is to come won’t accomplish anything. Instead breathe and think to yourself that you WILL and CAN do this. Having some faith in yourself will make even the toughest jobs easier to tackle. Sounds cheesy but you absolutely can do anything that you set your mind to if you breathe and have a little self-confidence.

State Goals, Make Action Plans, and Set Deadlines  

Part of what makes new positions or project so scary is when they have multiple parts and jobs within it.  Maybe it’s a new semester long service project that your chapter is trying out and you are in charge. It’s important to write down the goals, which you hope to accomplish. For example, by the end of this semester we will have a full inventory of the uniforms, have them all the pants hemmed, and they will all have labels with their specific number sewed into them. These goals should be attainable and succinct. Once you have your goals stated then you should make a plan on how you will attain them. This action plan should contain the specific steps that you will take to make the goal a reality. The action plan can have deadlines that you set for yourself. A helpful trick that I have found is letting other people know your personal deadlines that way you are held more accountable for when you have to get things done by.

Just do it.

Nike said it best, Just do it. No amount of planning or thinking or deadline thinking can replace the action of sitting down and doing work. Sometimes you have to say to yourself, ‘sit down and work until you accomplish X, Y, and Z.’ Other times it’s more effective to say, ‘I’m going to do this paper for an hour and then take a break.’ Whichever method works for you, use it and just get it done.

Don’t Get Discouraged and Ask for Help

Sometimes we stumble. I know personally there are a slew of deadlines I didn’t meet or tasks I just didn’t do but the key I tell myself is to not get bogged down in these ‘failures.’ I try to use them to propel myself forward. In addition, asking for help before you are struggling is a proactive way to head off that terrible feeling of drowning in work. One of the best parts of being part of TBS or KKY is that we join into a support system of people who can pick you up when you are down or encourage you when you need it. The support is there, all you have to do is turn to someone and say, “I need help.”

Celebrate the Small Successes and the Big Accomplishments

This is the fun step. Whenever you accomplish something, whether it’s an hour of work or the project is completed or your term of office is done, CELEBRATE! This could mean eating a chocolate bar, treating yourself to dinner, or dancing around your room for three minutes. Whatever your method of celebrating is, make sure you do it. You earned it, you accomplished it, and it’s worth celebrating.

These are just some of the steps and ideas that I have tried to apply in my own life. Sometimes they all work awesome, other times I only use one or a few of these steps. The key to embarking in any kind of new project or experience is keeping an open mind and knowing that you can do it no matter how daunting it may seem. 

Emily Anstey

TBS NED Vice President of Membership 2012-13

Fundraising Jointly

For most people, fundraising sounds like, well, work. People don’t give away money for free, even to organizations that serve others. Money is necessary for our organizations to function. We cannot fully support the bands without some financial backing. Music is an underfunded program in most schools, and part of serving the bands is filling in those gaps.

The Beta Eta chapter of Tau Beta Sigma and the Gamma Xi chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi attempt to make fundraising more interesting by working retail at M&T Bank Stadium. By sending both brothers and sisters to every game to run the shop, we’ve learned to work together. The retail environment allows both organizations to make a solid amount of money in a short amount of time. We collaborate more than before and we’ve learned to work alongside anyone in our organizations.

For Beta Eta, this is progress. For years our only method of income was working a few NFL games as security for either the Ravens or the Redskins. Before that, we tried to ask for corporate donations for our projects and in return have a file full of rejection letters. Over the past decade, BH has worked their way through every type of fundraiser. We’ve done restaurant fundraisers, bake sales, raffles, collected old phones and ink cartridges, and even tried a car wash, but we are most successful when we combine forces with our brothers in Gamma Xi. Double the manpower means double the possible proceeds.

Jessica Post
University of Maryland
Tau Beta Sigma - Beta Eta

"How are you?"

For those who have ever had marching band in their lives, one of the biggest goals we strive for is a cohesive ensemble. We rely on each other to march and play in time, hit our dots, know exactly how fast or slow to move, avoid flying color guard equipment, among many more responsibilities off the field. In marching band (some schools refer to it as a “regiment”, “unit”, “brigade”), the band is only as strong as your weakest member. You work together. You work to keep each other up.

The chapter operates as a unit, similar to a marching band. You move in tandem with each other. You have the same level of expectation for one another. The strength of a chapter is only as strong as the people that are in it. Therefore, in our striving for greater bands, it should be natural for us to reach out to our fellow brothers and sisters with help and support. 

Think about some of the simplest greetings in the English language.

“How are you?” “Are you alright?” “How’s it going?”

We learned at an early age that learning from and empathizing with another person is a natural human process. Asking someone how they are, shows that you take a vested interest in their well-being. As Brothers and Sisters, it is our duty to be concerned with others ITB. By joining our organizations, you proved that you have a caring nature and enjoy helping others succeed. However, as the stresses of classwork, jobs, band, chapter, family, and drama pile on, we start to lose that compassionate and empathetic outlook that we all joined with. I have seen people lost to simple things like not feeling welcome in a social setting or not feeling supported. On the other side, I’ve seen people wonder “Why isn’t brother X doing ABC?” or “Why is sister Y so anti-social?” This is the seed of unbrotherly and unsisterly behavior. We begin to alienate people because we don’t understand what is going on in their lives and because of our own stresses and personal issues we never choose to learn.

So what can we do to stop this epidemic?

Be caring. Be kind. Be compassionate. Be non-judgemental. Be a brother. Be a sister. 

Check-in on your fellow brothers and sisters once in a while. Talk to those who you wouldn’t normally talk to. Find out what is new in their lives, what classes they are taking, interesting things that have happened, or things they need help with. That simple, “how are you?” can make a bad day into a potentially good one. Knowing that someone wants to help can mean getting over the mental hurdles that prevent us from achieving.

As straight-forward and elementary as this may seem, connecting with one another is a goal for any fraternity and sorority. It is what makes us more than a school club or gaggle of people. If we can gain a greater level of support in our chapters, we can become a high-functioning unit, a marching band that steps in time, and stronger brothers and sisters individually in the process.

I hope that in the coming year, we can build the brotherhood and sisterhood in the NED and show the nation that we know what it means to be a brother/sister. 

MLITB,

Dennis Yu

Kappa Kappa Psi

Theta Beta Chapter at Boston University

NED Secretary/Treasurer 2012-2013